


hearts don't break

by adequater



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 09:10:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13737675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adequater/pseuds/adequater
Summary: Donghyuck doesn’t know when his life spiralled into this romantic comedy brilliance, but Donghyuck has the strong tingling sense that it’s probably Jaemin’s fault.It’s quite always Jaemin’s fault.





	hearts don't break

**Author's Note:**

> hello!!!!!!!
> 
> hmm let's see. i don't know if this warrants a warning, but there are talks here and there about how highly sciences majors are regarded as, so? yeah. i wasn't intending to belittle other majors, and there were no belittling of other majors here either, but just thougt i'd give a little heads up. the talks about the majors here is something i know (and have the firsthand experience of) is deeply rooted in asian culture, so i wanted to implement it here.
> 
> and i guess fucked up family? not much just...yeah. 
> 
> warning: unbeta'ed. kind of badly paced too? hahah idk
> 
> enjoy reading!!!

“I’ll slap you. I will actually slap you.”

“You wouldn’t dare. My face is too pretty.”

Donghyuck pauses. Both of his hands are currently holding Jaemin down, pinning him to the floor, and Jaemin lays on the floor of Donghyuck’s room lifeless, not literally, giving up fighting for Donghyuck to let him go because his attempts so far had been futile. Donghyuck doesn’t know when his life spiralled into this romantic comedy brilliance, but Donghyuck has the strong tingling sense that it’s probably Jaemin’s fault.

It’s quite always Jaemin’s fault.

Here’s what happened: Jaemin had rushed in the apartment. Donghyuck’s apartment, but that’s a story for another day because Donghyuck’s brain is going to burst if he starts on why Jaemin had taken refuge in his apartment for two weeks counting now. Anyways, yeah. Jaemin had burst in, running at full speed to Donghyuck’s room without knocking, and tackled Donghyuck who was sleeping peacefully in the bed. It’s a Saturday. Donghyuck was not expecting a grown man to jump on him in the bed when he had been doing calculations for his Calculus homework just the night before. Donghyuck just wanted  _sleep._

But Jaemin decided to come crashing in, like he did that day he showed up with a luggage and his hippopotamus stuff toy he brings to sleep, looking sheepish and embarrassed, that Donghyuck, in turn, felt embarrassed, because Jaemin was looking like that. But like previously mentioned, that’s another story for another day.

Donghyuck wanted sleep, and when he felt someone jumping on him, Donghyuck’s first subconscious instinct was to tackle the person to the floor, and stopping the person from moving. Jaemin had fought under Donghyuck’s insistent grip, awkwardly wiggling his body to escape Donghyuck, but failed. So, he shouted those words: “I need you to date me.”

Just to recap, Donghyuck’s unfiltered mouth (it never really was filtered), said back: “I’ll slap you. I will actually slap you.”

Jaemin, equally unfiltered, replied back: “You wouldn’t dare. My face is too pretty.”

So here they are now, still on the floor, but Jaemin not moving anymore because he has the athleticism of a medical school student who studies practically all the time that he barely has the time for any physical exercise other than walking to a coffee shop or just university or classes or the hospital for his weekly visit, which is basically, well, Jaemin. Donghyuck is kind of tired of having to hover over Jaemin too, so he lets go of the grip he has on Jaemin’s wrist, and moves over to sit on the bed, and Jaemin chooses that as an indication to sit on the floor with his legs crossed, looking up at Donghyuck with big eyes and slight pout on his lips.

Maybe Donghyuck shouldn’t have sit on the bed. The higher height gives him a disadvantage of looking down on Jaemin, and only further accentuates how pitiful Jaemin looks.

Donghyuck coughs. “What do you mean by that?”

Jaemin blinks. “My face is pretty. That’s all I meant. No deeper connotations there, Hyuck.”

Donghyuck might as well die. Donghyuck sighs, and looks at Jaemin with a heavy look in his eyes. Donghyuck sort of feels tired already although he just woke up, and the conversation barely began. “I meant the--” Donghyuck sighs, running his hand through his face quickly to get his shit together. “The dating part. Me dating you part. You dating me.”

Jaemin’s eyes brightens in realisation, and he clicks his tongue at the epiphany. Donghyuck sort of hates how bare Jaemin’s eyes always are. Donghyuck thinks Jaemin wears his heart on his sleeves (or more accurately, eyes), so when he feels any emotions, it just shows in his eyes. Like now. “Right!” Jaemin exclaims, and he leans forward, and puts his hand on Donghyuck’s knees, and blinks his eyes repetitively in hopes of looking adorable. Donghyuck wants to say that he’s failing. “I need you to date me. Please.”

Donghyuck lifts his knees up, and Jaemin’s hands rested there knock on Jaemin’s chin, and the sound of Jaemin’s little huff of pain was what Donghyuck wanted, so he returns his knees to the original position, and Jaemin takes his hands away from them, and rubs his chin. “Elaborate, stupid.”

“Fuck you,” Jaemin spits out, and he stops rubbing his chin to sigh. “I need you to date me, okay?” When Donghyuck still looks unsatisfied, he sighs. “I told my parents I’m gay two weeks ago, okay?”

Donghyuck stills. That was when Jaemin decided to take refuge in Donghyuck’s apartment. Donghyuck had asked, why Jaemin was there and all, but Jaemin had stubbornly remained silence, and Donghyuck decided to not push after being brushed off once. That must’ve been the reason, apparently.

“Uh, and?” Donghyuck kind of knows where this is going. He has seen or read this somewhere. Asking someone to be your fake significant other just to get your parents off your back. Donghyuck knows, but he doesn’t want to say it out loud, so he has to hear Jaemin say it.

Jaemin pouts at Donghyuck. “So date me.” Donghyuck’s heart sort of traitorously shutters inside his chest, but Donghyuck blinks and acts like it didn’t happen. Jaemin looks away, shrugging, but the pout is still there. “Fake date me. I just need you to attend one dinner with my parents, Hyuck. Please.”

Donghyuck doesn’t quite know how to respond to that. There are no guidebooks or wikihow on how to properly respond to someone asking you to fake date them, right? Donghyuck doesn’t think so, but even if there is, Donghyuck would still be the blubbering mess he is right now. Thoughts in shambles about how to respond to, well,  _this._ Jaemin looking up at him with this slight pout on his lips, silently begging for Donghyuck to answer, which is, well.

“Why can’t you ask your other friends?” Donghyuck asks weakly, and Jaemin furrows his eyebrows at the question. “Like, Jeno?”

Jaemin barks out an incredulous laugh. “Jeno is straight, and a family friend. Even my mother can see that Jeno is straight, Hyuck.” Donghyuck agrees, really. Hell, even the first thought that went through Donghyuck’s mind when he first met Jeno was that he looks straight as fuck. But then, Jaemin looked straight when Donghyuck first met him too, but look where they are now. “So, no.”

“Other friends?” Donghyuck tries.

“I don’t have any other friends!” Jaemin huffs impatiently, and Donghyuck gives a pointed look at Jaemin to which Jaemin sighs at. “Sorry. But it’s true! I don’t have friends.”

Donghyuck sort of wants to beg to differ, because Jaemin does have friends, if the swarm of people Donghyuck sees with Jaemin all the time when Donghyuck somehow manages to see Jaemin in campus is anything to go by. But then, when Jaemin sees Donghyuck in campus, when Jaemin is not going to class, that is, he would end up ditching those people and join Donghyuck, after he makes sure Donghyuck is not going to class. Which, is. Okay. Maybe Jaemin  _does_ not have friends.

“Wow,” Donghyuck says, and he leans forward a little, settling his elbow on his lap, and resting his chin on his hand, looking at Jaemin with this fake pitiful look that Jaemin immediately detects because his eyebrows furrow again. “You’re such a loser.”

“Fuck you,” Jaemin spits again, and he gets up, and says heatedly. “Fine. I’m sure fuckton of people would want to date me, anyways.” Jaemin makes a move of going out of the room, and Donghyuck doesn’t know what possesses him to stand up and grab Jaemin’s wrist, and tightens the grip he has on it when Jaemin fights for Donghyuck to let go. Perhaps it’s seeing Jaemin so desperate, and somehow hurt by Donghyuck’s words.

“Fine. I’ll do it, Jaemin,” Donghyuck says, and Jaemin stops fighting the grip. Jaemin looks at him hopefully now.

“Really?”  _Fuck. It’s a trap. Of course it is._ Donghyuck should’ve guessed that it is. That Jaemin faked getting angry just to get Donghyuck to say yes. Which Donghyuck would’ve said too anyways without Jaemin getting angry because Donghyuck realises he has this habit of saying  _yes_ to everything Jaemin asks him for.

Exhibit A: refuge. Exhibit B: now.

Donghyuck swallows the spit that somehow lodged itself in his throat. “Yeah. Of course.”

“Thank you, thank you!” Jaemin yelps, and he hugs Donghyuck. Donghyuck wasn’t prepared for that, so they just topple over to the bed, and they’re somehow hugging in this mess of limbs on Donghyuck’s unmade bed. “I owe you so much.”

“You sure as hell do,” Donghyuck can only grunt back.

 

-

 

The numbers from the sheet is sort of getting more and more stupid the more Donghyuck looks at it. Maybe Donghyuck is the one who’s stupid. But Donghyuck is not going to downgrade himself today, so he directs it to the lights. Maybe it’s the lights. The one causing Donghyuck to not focus on the numbers on the papers. The lights from this coffee shop in the campus is dim, to set the ambience and all that, and maybe it’s Donghyuck’s fault for choosing a place like this to start his work. But Donghyuck doesn’t like to blame himself on things, too, so it’s the coffee shop’s fault. For now. He has three more pages to go, and he’s not even done with the first page.

Donghyuck sighs.

“Hey, babe,” a voice greets, when Donghyuck results to creating patterns on his calculator, trying to find a new reason to just finish the worksheet because Donghyuck has pretty much given up by now, and is questioning why is he even working this hard to get a degree in mechanical engineering. Donghyuck looks up in surprise.

“Babe?” Donghyuck asks in surprise when he sees Jaemin, and Jaemin smiles, a frozen and hurried smile when you look closely, and Jaemin is, uh,  _close._ Jaemin leans in even more, and kisses Donghyuck’s cheek, which Donghyuck’s eyes widen at. “Babe?”

“Babe,” Jaemin agrees, sliding into the seat in front of Donghyuck, and Donghyuck narrows his eyes at Jaemin. Jaemin leans forward on the table, and takes Donghyuck’s hands in his, smiling brightly, but he says through his teeth. “Please just look like you like me a lot. My cousin is literally looking at us.”

“Your cousin?” Donghyuck replies through his teeth, and he smiles at Jaemin. “Is he close?”

“No, you can talk normally,” Jaemin says, and he leans back on the window, and smiles one last time at Donghyuck before looking around the coffee shop. “But like, act like you’re in love with me.” One of Jaemin’s hand is still in Donghyuck’s, and Donghyuck takes the pen with his other hand. The fingers of Jaemin’s hand is caressing Donghyuck’s hand softly, so naturally like he has been doing this his whole life.

“Hard, man,” Donghyuck says, and he barks out a laugh right after.

Jaemin stops his scanning, and instead rests his head on the table, looking up at Donghyuck, and their hands are still attached, and Donghyuck doesn’t know why, but it fuels him to continue doing his worksheet. “Homework?” Jaemin asks, and when Donghyuck looks at Jaemin, his eyes are scanning Donghyuck’s worksheet quickly, his eyelashes fanning his cheeks. He looks nice like this, Donghyuck thinks.

“Yep,” Donghyuck replies, returning to the worksheet. He takes his calculator, and punches in the numbers, and jots down the answer. “Physics.” Jaemin makes a face at the subject that Donghyuck breathes out a laugh at. “Physics is nice.”

“You’re only on the first page, though,” Jaemin teases, and he looks up at Donghyuck, a teasing smile on his face that Donghyuck can’t help but clicks his tongue at.

“I just got here,” Donghyuck lies, and Donghyuck doesn’t think Jaemin has to know that Donghyuck has been here for at most an hour.

“Okay,” Jaemin replies back, and he lets go of the hold he had on Donghyuck’s hand, and Donghyuck managed to stop himself from gripping it for Jaemin to not let go. Jaemin turns, and digs through his own bag to look for his Macbook, and he takes it out, and turns it on.

“Why are you here, anyways?” Donghyuck asks, ignoring his empty hand, and focuses on the questions. “And why do we have to fake in front of your cousin? I thought the agreement was just a dinner with your parents?"

Jaemin sighs, and looks at Donghyuck apologetically, and Donghyuck only returns to the worksheet after giving Jaemin a blank stare. “Because I literally saw him giving me the eyes, Hyuck. I came in to get my coffee fix, but he literally zoomed in on me, and then he looked over to you, and that’s when I realised he must’ve thought I was here to meet you! Of course I had to keep up an act!”

“You told your parents already about me being your boyfriend?” Donghyuck asks, his eyebrows furrowed, and he continues awkwardly when he realises the weight of his sentence. “Fake boyfriend. Boyfriend.” Jaemin seems to not have noticed his little slip up, and instead becomes flustered. Donghyuck raises an eyebrow. “What?”

“Nothing!” Jaemin says unconvincingly, and Jaemin continues awkwardly when Donghyuck is still looking at him. “Except. Well. I kind of told them already about you being my boyfriend before I even asked you about it?” Jaemin winces, and nods slowly. “Yeah.”

“Before you even asked me?!” Donghyuck yelps hushedly, and Jaemin nods, avoiding Donghyuck’s eyes. “What if I said no?”

“To be fair,” Jaemin begins. “I’d do anything for you to agree.”

To be fair, Donghyuck would’ve agreed. But he’s not going to say it to Jaemin.

“How can you even manage to make someone your boyfriend without that boyfriend’s consent?!” Donghyuck sighs out, and that’s kind of a weird sentence. Jaemin doesn’t mind, though because he leans forward, and looks at Donghyuck sadly.

“I’m sorry.”

Maybe Donghyuck should stop being so weak. Or maybe Donghyuck should start by looking away. So Donghyuck does, and Jaemin frowns at Donghyuck before starting to type out something on his Macbook.

“My boyfriend is mad at me because I made him my boyfriend before even asking him,” Jaemin narrates as he types into his Macbook.

“Oh my God,” Donghyuck says, and Donghyuck leans forward to look at Jaemin’s screen. “You’re typing it up. On a word document.”

“I am,” Jaemin replies easily, and he continues typing away. “Title? Why my boyfriend should forgive me.” Donghyuck looks at Jaemin in disbelief, so Jaemin then stops typing, and smiles sheepishly at Donghyuck. “I’m kidding. It’s a lab report. I’m erasing this. You think I have time for that?”

“Apparently  _not,”_ Donghyuck counters back, and he sips on his long forgotten drink before continuing heatedly. “Because you didn’t even have the time to ask  _me_ out to be your boyfriend.” Donghyuck pauses. “Fake boyfriend.”

“Why my boyfriend should forgive me,” Jaemin says monotonously to his Macbook screen, and Donghyuck glares at Jaemin. “Number one, my parents don’t want to believe that I’m gay unless I tell them that I have a guy as my boyfriend. Number two, even when I’m fulfilling their dreams as Asian parents to have a child becoming a doctor, they  _still_ don’t want me to be gay. Number three,” Jaemin looks at Donghyuck, and flutters his lashes quickly. “I’m sorry?”

Donghyuck sighs. “Forgiven. Now go back to your lab report.”

They work in silence for a while, and Donghyuck actually got the first and half of the second page done when a voice breaks them out of their little comfortable silence.

“So this is your boyfriend, little Jaemin,” a voice says, and Donghyuck looks at the person. Donghyuck doesn’t recognise the person, but Donghyuck can take a safe guess that it’s probably the cousin that Jaemin was referring to earlier. Jaemin’s cousin looks somewhat older than them, but that may be the height. If Donghyuck were to take a guess, Donghyuck would say that he’s in second year.

“Jungwoo-hyung,” Jaemin says icily. “I told you you shouldn’t call me that anymore.” Jaemin then refers to Donghyuck, meeting Donghyuck’s eyes with a soft smile, and this glint of something in his eyes. “Yeah. Donghyuck. So mum told you, huh?”

“Auntie told everyone,” Jungwoo says, shrugging, and he hoists the bag he has on his shoulders even higher. “Gotta be the one to tell that you’re gay before any other person in the family does, you know?” Jaemin shrugs, nonchalant. “Would be bad if you were caught. So she told everyone before everyone knew by themselves.”

“I see,” Jaemin says back.

Jungwoo assesses Donghyuck for a second, then his eyes drop down towards the worksheet, calculator, and the mess of eraser debris on the table. Jungwoo looks back at Donghyuck, and smiles. “Engineering? Not bad, then.” Jaemin shrugs at that, and Donghyuck can only smile at Jungwoo, and Jungwoo looks back to Jaemin. “So you live with Donghyuck now?”

“Just for a while,” Jaemin replies coolly. “Mum and dad were pretty shocked when I told them so I didn’t want to stay for them to nag me all the time.”

Jungwoo nods, and gives an impressed look to Jaemin. “You thought this through, it seems.”

“You can say that,” Jaemin replies, and Jaemin looks at his watch, and frowns at Jungwoo. Don’t you have class, hyung?”

“Oh, you’re right,” Jungwoo replies, and he clicks his tongue. “See you around, Jaemin. And Donghyuck.” Jungwoo exits the coffee shop right after, and Jaemin sort of sits there, and sulks.

“You okay?” Donghyuck tests, and he kicks Jaemin’s foot when Jaemin pouts at Donghyuck. “Stop that.”

“You think I did pretty well?” Jaemin asks hurriedly, and Donghyuck looks at him warily, before shrugging. 

“Like a guy who has a boyfriend,” Donghyuck says jokingly. “Which you do." 

“Which I do,” Jaemin agrees, finally grinning, and Donghyuck snorts. Jaemin leans forwards, and rests his elbows on the table, putting his face in his hands. “Jungwoo-hyung is like two years older than me. Medical student, too. Basically all my parents want me to be.” Jaemin scrunches his nose slightly. “I think Jungwoo-hyung being openly gay is the reason why they’re not too against me being gay. Jungwoo-hyung was caught, though. By one of my aunts which was bad. Mum probably learned from that.”

“So you have  _that_ kind of family, huh,” Donghyuck notes, and Jaemin shrugs.

“Yeah,” Jaemin snorts.  _“That_ kind.”

Donghyuck doesn’t really get it fully. Jaemin comes from a rich family who has a close-knitted family, but they talk shits about each other behind each other’s backs. Donghyuck gets that, at least. But Donghyuck will never truly get what it’s like to have a family dynamic like that. Donghyuck’s family is not really too conservative. Donghyuck doesn’t even remember all of his relatives’ names, and Donghyuck can guess that Jaemin probably knows each and every one of his relatives name and probably their friends, too. He probably has one of those family gatherings every month. Coming out is a big deal to Jaemin, but Donghyuck’s parents had been just okay when Donghyuck said that he likes men too. The differences between their families are stark, and that was obvious enough to Donghyuck. But the only similarity their family holds is apparently views on education and career paths. Donghyuck tells Jaemin that.

Jaemin raises an eyebrow, interest obviously piqued. “What did your parents say when you came out?”

Donghyuck shrugs, grabbing his pencil, and continue scribbling his answer from the calculator which he abandoned earlier when Jungwoo came. “They were just okay with it, really. I told them I was attracted to men, too.” Donghyuck scrunches his nose. “I didn’t really tell them that I was bi. It’s hard to explain to them, so I’d rather not. So I just told them that.”

“How nice,” Jaemin sighs out. Jaemin continues typing on his Macbook.

“Sometimes,” Donghyuck replies, and they leave it at that.

 

-

 

Donghyuck knows something would just come biting back to his ass when he agreed to fake date Jaemin. Donghyuck knows, and the world decides that today would be the day his ass gets bitten. Donghyuck doesn’t know what is it with people and approaching him when he’s sitting alone, but it’s apparently a thing, and pretty much right after Donghyuck sits down on the empty table he found, Jeno, Mark, and Renjun join him.

“Excuse me?” Donghyuck scoffs, when both of them slide onto the seat in front of him, and Donghyuck makes a noise of surprise when he hears the chair next to him glides against the floor to see Mark.  _“Excuse_ me?”

“Excused,” Renjun says dismissively, and Jeno highfives Renjun for that because Jeno is a sucker for bad jokes. Renjun grins at Donghyuck, and Donghyuck only rolls his eyes at him, and picks up his chopsticks to start eating. “So, Hyuck.”

Donghyuck ignores him to continue eating, and Mark next to him elbows him to get him to pay attention and Donghyuck groans at them. “What?”

Jeno grins at Donghyuck. “We didn’t know you have a  _boyfriend!”_ Jeno says the word boyfriend like how a middle schooler would, and Donghyuck quite literally hates how the words somehow made him heat up. Only him and Jaemin have referred to each other as such, and hearing it from another person just somehow feels so odd. “Jaemin at that.”

Donghyuck frowns. “What do you mean by that?”

Donghyuck may be truly curious, but he’s also trying to delay trying to come up with an argument. Both of them never really had a talk about what they should do in front of other people. Hell, they didn’t even have a talk about how they should act in front of Jaemin’s parents. The initial plan was of course to just get the dinner with Jaemin’s parents over with, but ever since the encounter with Jaemin’s cousin, Donghyuck is quite sure the circumstances have changed. Donghyuck doesn’t really know what to tell his closest friends. Does he tell them? Or does he act like he’s truly dating Jaemin?

Donghyuck doesn’t quite know.

“Don’t listen to Jeno, Donghyuck,” Mark snorts, and Donghyuck glances at Mark. “He’s just bitter he has to hear it from people that you two are dating.” Mark elbows Donghyuck again, and wiggles his eyebrows indecently. “You and Jaemin, huh? I’d never thought that I would witness you two getting together! I thought you wouldn’t have the balls to ever say you like Jaemin.”

_What?_

“I know right. It was obvious how much you like Jaemin, Hyuck,” Renjun snickers, and Donghyuck can literally feel the blood in his veins freeze. Renjun leans forward in excitement. “How did you two get together?”

Donghyuck really doesn’t know how to respond. First, he’s thrown with the fact that the news of him dating Jaemin had somehow spread around the campus, and now, his friends (closest ones, at that) thought all along that he has a huge crush on Jaemin, which is, well, new. This is new. All of this revelation that Donghyuck can’t judge for himself whether or not is true because his own emotions are sort of tangled right now, jumbled, and kind of all over the place.

“Uh,” Donghyuck says intelligently. “Jaemin asked me out.” He technically did, so Donghyuck is not really lying. Donghyuck plays with the silver chopsticks awkwardly. His friends are looking at him in anticipation, and it only fuels his brain to start working faster to think of a scenario. “Like two months ago.” Donghyuck pouts apologetically. “Sorry I didn’t tell you guys. Jaemin still hadn’t come out to his parents that time so I had to wait until he was comfortable with it.”

“If that’s the reason, then I’m okay, I guess,” Jeno shrugs, and he picks up his chopsticks to go back to eating. Jeno looks at Donghyuck pointedly. “Tell us things, dude. For real. Hurts me." 

Donghyuck snorts. “Overreacting.”

“Wounded,” Mark echoes, and Jeno kicks Mark’s foot for that. 

“Hurts me,” Renjun says teasingly, and Donghyuck only breathes out a laugh at that.

 

-

 

**hyucksters**

_come to my room_   _when u come home_  

**nana**

_:o_

_youre so forward_

**hyucksters**

_im literally gonna kill u_

**nana**

_will b there : < _

 

Donghyuck hears a knock on his bedroom door, and Jaemin enters right after because he doesn’t have enough manners to wait for Donghyuck to say  _come in._ Jaemin never really knocks, anyways. So Donghyuck looks from his bed in surprise at Jaemin. Jaemin still has his backpack on, and he has his lab coat hanging on his arm, and his eyebrows are furrowed, looking at Donghyuck nervously.  

“Why did you knock?” Donghyuck asks, confusion tinted in his tone.

Jaemin sits at Donghyuck’s bed, and makes a dissatisfied noise. “What do you mean why?”

“You never knock,” Donghyuck says bluntly. 

Jaemin blinks, and shrugs slowly. “I don’t know.”

Donghyuck sighs. Jaemin looks like he couldn’t wait to just burst out of the room, and go to the guest bedroom Jaemin is currently staying at. The guest bedroom is usually for his parents when they come to visit Donghyuck. But since his parents aren’t really visiting at the moment, Donghyuck had let Jaemin stay there. Donghyuck honestly doesn’t understand why he looks so nervous. “Anyways. We need to talk.”

Jaemin looks at Donghyuck, his eyes wide, and he takes his hands, and starts biting into one of his nails. “What is it?”

Donghyuck raises an eyebrow at him, but sighing as he continues. “My friends apparently knew about us dating. So I literally told them that you asked me out, and we’ve been dating for two months, but the news only recently broke out because you were too scared to come out.” Donghyuck shrugs. “I don’t know if you’ll roll with that, but you have to since my friends are blabbermouths.” Donghyuck pauses. “Your friends, too, technically. Jeno was there.”

“Oh,” Jaemin says, and Donghyuck can sense a hint of relief in that word. “Oh my God, you scared me. I thought you wanted to break up!”

“Why would I want to break up?” Donghyuck asks, and that question sort of feels too real and  _not_ fake that Donghyuck is reminded of the earlier conversation he had about his supposed crush on Jaemin.

“Dunno,” Jaemin mumbles, and he moves further towards Donghyuck so that he’s leaning on the bed frame of Donghyuck’s queen sized bed like Donghyuck currently is. Jaemin removes his bag, putting his lab coat next to him, and steals a glance at Donghyuck, and Donghyuck holds that gaze, so Jaemin looks away first. “You never sound  _that_ serious over text.”

Donghyuck blinks. “I literally said I would kill you.”

“You might,” Jaemin replies weakly, and Donghyuck lets out an incredulous laugh at the response. Jaemin giggles too, and he then pauses, and says hurriedly. “Wait, why was I the one who asked you out?”

Donghyuck scoffs. “Didn’t you? If I remember correctly it was even in this room.”

Jaemin scowls at Donghyuck, pushing Donghyuck’s chest lightly to the point that it barely hurts. “Fine. I’m in love with you so I asked you out, and we’ve been together for two months, and the news recently broke out only because I just came out.” Donghyuck blinks, taken aback, and Jaemin looks at him imploringly. “Then, what?”

“I don’t know,” Donghyuck coughs out. “I figured that first part out. You should make up the next part.”

Jaemin frowns. “My parents would want to know how we got together, though.”

Donghyuck shrugs. “Just use how we truly met. During orientation week, right? That’s it, really.” 

“Huh,” Jaemin says in realisation. “This is easy.”

Donghyuck smiles smugly at Jaemin.  _“Of course._ It’s because you have me.”

“That’s right,” Jaemin agrees, and Donghyuck is surprised. Donghyuck said that just to elicit a reaction out of Jaemin. Something like  _oh my god, you’re not that special,_ but Donghyuck wasn’t really expecting agreement. “I really appreciate you doing this.”

Donghyuck looks away, stretching awkwardly. “Yeah, well. It’s alright.” Donghyuck smiles at Jaemin. “Anything for friends, right?”

“Right,” Jaemin agrees, but Donghyuck can see the discomfort in Jaemin’s eyes. “Friends. Right.”

“Right,” Donghyuck echoes, and Jaemin coughs.

“You know I’m a very, like, affectionate person.” Donghyuck nods slowly at the statement, obviously agreeing. Jaemin is always throwing his arm around Donghyuck and his other friends. Hell, the way Jaemin and Jeno act around each other might even be deemable as romantic if Donghyuck doesn’t know that Jeno is straight as fuck. Presumed straight, that is. Jaemin pouts a little. “So when we have that dinner, you must, like, touch me.”

“Touch you?” Donghyuck squeaks, and Jaemin immediately gets defensive.

Jaemin heats up, and he slaps Donghyuck’s chest a little that Donghyuck grunts at. “I meant like holding my hand and all that. My parents won’t believe shit if I’m not touching the other person, you know?”

Donghyuck doesn’t quite know. But he nods. “Alright. Is that it?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Jaemin says, shrugging. “And since you told your friends we’re dating I guess we really do have to keep an act up in campus.” Jaemin frowns at Donghyuck. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Donghyuck says again, shrugging. “I don’t mind much. Just treat me food or something.”

“I will!” Jaemin says cheerily. “Are you doing anything now?”

“Dunno,” Donghyuck replies, and Donghyuck looks over to his side table where his laptop is, a paused drama on the screen. Donghyuck had managed to put the laptop away before Jaemin came in. “I was just watching a drama.”

“Wanna go get dinner?” Jaemin asks. “My treat.”

 Donghyuck is a guy in college. Of course he agrees.

 

-

 

Donghyuck enters his apartment to the sound of chattering. Which is rare, because his apartment is always silent unless Jaemin decides to blast out his music, which is all the time, but other than that, it’s usually quiet. Which made Donghyuck think that it’s probably Jaemin watching something on his laptop 

So it’s a surprise when Donghyuck enters the living room to see his mother talking to Jaemin. Animatedly. Jaemin smiling brightly, looking happy and earnest as he entertains Donghyuck’s mother. Donghyuck doesn’t quite know how to process this. Because this is the first time Jaemin has met Donghyuck’s mother, but they’re already talking like this.

“Mum?” Donghyuck squeaks out, and the conversation comes to a halt. Jaemin and his mother look at him in surprise, and his mother smiles brightly at him while Jaemin shoots him a small smile. Donghyuck sets his bag on the ground next to the couch his parents gave him when he moved, and he stands warily behind where Jaemin is sitting on the couch. His mother is sitting next to Jaemin. “What are you doing here?”

“I can’t visit my son now?” his mother asks, and Jaemin nods vehemently in agreement, turning his head to look at Donghyuck to get his point across, and Donghyuck only pinches Jaemin’s cheek as a response which Jaemin winces at.

“You usually tell me,” Donghyuck replies defensively, and his mother shrugs in response.

"You didn’t tell me you got a boyfriend, Hyuck,” Donghyuck’s mother pats Jaemin’s hair a little, then gives a little pointed look to Donghyuck. “A handsome one at that.” Donghyuck resists the urge to roll his eyes at his mother, and his mother grins brightly at Jaemin. “And a medical student!”

Donghyuck  _knew_ she was going to bring it up, and that was probably the first thing his mother asked when he saw Jaemin. Donghyuck sighs. “Will you be staying here?"

His mother hums happily. “Just tonight. I’m going back tomorrow.”

"Okay,” Donghyuck replies, taking his bag, and he moves to go to his room, and Donghyuck can hear Jaemin’s footsteps following him to the room. Donghyuck enters the room, and when he turns, Jaemin is there, behind the door, and looking at Donghyuck worriedly.

“I’m sorry you had to lie to your parents about dating me,” Jaemin begins hushedly, and Donghyuck doesn’t think he has to do that. Speaking so hushedly that is, because Donghyuck can hear his mother’s show on the TV playing loudly.

Donghyuck doesn’t quite know what to say.

Donghyuck doesn’t lie to his parents often. Hell, when he discovered that he might be pan, the first people he told were his parents. They have that kind of relationship, a close-knitted one, but with a lot more affections. Donghyuck never really kept secrets from his parents, and maybe that’s why the possibility of his parents finding out about this whole dating Jaemin fiasco never really crossed Donghyuck’s mind because he was sure he wouldn’t have to deal with it since it was temporary. But now that his mother is here, another circumstance in their whole deal changed.

 _It’s not alright,_ Donghyuck realises. It feels kind of odd lying to his parents. But then, Donghyuck doesn’t think that he minds. Because he had seen how Jaemin and his mother interacted, and how well they get along. Maybe that’s why Donghyuck doesn’t mind. Or maybe Donghyuck is just weaker for Jaemin than he wants to be. Or maybe Jaemin should stop looking like that.

“Stop looking like a kicked puppy,” Donghyuck sighs out as he puts his bag on the chair of his desk. “It’s okay. I’ll just tell my mum that you broke my heart once this whole thing blows off so that she can dislike you.” Jaemin actually looks more disturbed now, and Donghyuck realised he must’ve sounded passive aggressive. Donghyuck barks out an incredulous laugh. “It’s a joke, Jaemin.”

“Right,” Jaemin says, and he coughs awkwardly, standing on his tippy toes awkwardly. He gestures to the luggage next to Donghyuck’s bed. “I pretty much moved my luggage when I realised it was your mum.” Jaemin winces. “I’ll have to stay with you here tonight, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck agrees. “I’ll just tell her you’re staying for the night, then.” Jaemin looks guilty now, and it’s not really a good look on him. Donghyuck understands really, the fear of burdening someone, and Donghyuck can empathise with Jaemin. Donghyuck goes over to Jaemin, and softly punches his shoulder. “It’s  _fine,_ Jaemin. Don’t look like that.”

Jaemin frowns at Donghyuck, his lower lip jutting a little. “Like what?”

Donghyuck flicks Jaemins’s lips, which Jaemin yelps at. “Like that.”

“That hurts!” Jaemin complains, rubbing his lips.

“It was supposed to,” Donghyuck quips, and Jaemin glares at Donghyuck. Donghyuck puts his arm over Jaemin, and grins at him. “Come on, my mum is waiting.”

 

 -

 

Donghyuck wakes up to Jaemin in his arms. It’s kind of a weird position. Donghyuck can’t decide who is the bigger spoon here, but it’s probably Donghyuck since donghyuck is the one who has his arms around Jaemin’s waist. Jaemin is breathing softly, chest rising up and down as he does, and Donghyuck doesn’t know why, but he watches. Jaemin has a pimple right on the top of his cheekbone, and Donghyuck takes in the way his nosebrige is too immaculate to be true, but here it is, in front of Donghyuck.

Donghyuck wakes up to Jaemin in his arms, and Donghyuck doesn’t know why he’s staring.

Last night had been weird. Jaemin and Donghyuck both spent time with Donghyuck’s mother. Donghyuck had mumbled to Jaemin that if he wanted to study instead of accompany Donghyuck’s mum, he could, but Jaemin had frowned at Donghyuck and asked why he was getting rid of Jaemin, and Donghyuck could only scoff in disbelief at the misinterpretation. They pretty much only watched TV last night, had dinner with the food Donghyuck’s mother brought and made, before Donghyuck’s mother retired to the guest bedroom to sleep.

This was kind of when things went south.

“I  _have_ to sleep on the bed,” Jaemin said desperately, holding onto Donghyuck’s hand, as if begging, and he probably is. “Hyuck, I can’t sleep on the couch! Your mother would think it’s weird that you let your boyfriend sleep on the couch when you have a queen sized bed.” Jaemin looked at Donghyuck’s bed longingly. “Please.”

Donghyuck could bet on all his fortune that Jaemin was making up excuses just because his rich ass has never slept on a couch his whole life. But Donghyuck kind of agreed with Jaemin about his mother finding it weird, so that was the only thing that was refraining Donghyuck from smacking Jaemin. Donghyuck raises an eyebrow at Jaemin. “Are you telling me to sleep on the floor?”

Jaemin blinked at Donghyuck, confused. “No. I meant that we should sleep together.”

“What?” Donghyuck spluttered. “Why?”

“I’m not going to let you give up your bed just so I can sleep,” Jaemin countered back, and Donghyuck was so flustered. Jaemin fidgeted a little, and Donghyuck’s hand he sways their joint hand a little. Jaemin looked at Donghyuck, eyes big and hopeful. “It’s a big bed, Hyuck.”

It is. It still is.

So that’s how Donghyuck and Jaemin end up sleeping on Donghyuck’s bed. Their legs are tangled right now, and Donghyuck wants to move his legs, but he doesn’t want to be selfish and wakes Jaemin up. So he lays there even when his legs are dying and cramped, desperate to be moved. Donghyuck continues to look at Jaemin. There’s something about looking at him like this, quiet and not running his mouth like he always is. Jaemin kind of looks nice like this.

Jaemin wakes up, and Donghyuck doesn’t know why, but he doesn’t look away. Donghyuck watches as Jaemin’s eyes flutter open, his long eyelashes fanning his cheeks demurely, and Donghyuck looks, a little entranced, because this is Jaemin in his most vulnerable state. Waking up. Maybe it’s the ambience pressuring Donghyuck to not look away, the one causing Donghyuck to stay rooted. The darkness of the room, the bright sun shielded by the curtains of Donghyuck’s room creates a false sense of security that it’s around five in the morning where decisions don’t matter, and the world is quiet and everything else feels calm and right. Donghyuck doesn’t know what time he wants it to be. Maybe it’s that. Maybe it’s Jaemin.

“Good morning,” Jaemin rasps out, when he sees Donghyuck already awake. Jaemin snuggles further, and he rests his head on Donghyuck’s shoulder, so the way Jaemin untangles their legs doesn’t affect Donghyuck because his warmth is still there. Jaemin blinks sleepily, and looks up at Donghyuck. “What time is it?”

Donghyuck doesn’t know. Donghyuck doesn’t think he wants to know. Because if it’s eight in the morning, then none of these are real. Donghyuck stretches a little to his bedside table where his phone is charging, and Jaemin follows since he’s still attached to Donghyuck. Donghyuck unplugs the charger, and the screen shows three past six in the morning. Donghyuck somehow feels relieved.

“It’s six,” Donghyuck replies, and his own voice sounds raspy. Still rough from the remnants of sleep left in his veins. Donghyuck puts the phone back to the bedside table.

“Why are you awake?” Jaemin asks, and he closes his eyes. “Are you thinking?”

“Why are  _you_ awake?” Donghyuck retorts, and Jaemin breathes out a laugh. Jaemin’s breath probably smells bad now, but Donghyuck doesn’t think it matters right now. Not when it’s six, and the world is still asleep, and is in the safety of their home. Some of the world.

“Because you’re thinking so loudly,” Jaemin quips, and Donghyuck stays silent, not knowing what to say. Jaemin sighs, and he drapes one of his arms that is rested between them over Donghyuck’s body. “Are you okay?”

 _I’m okay now,_ was what Donghyuck wanted to say. Donghyuck is okay because Jaemin is here. Donghyuck wants to say he’s okay because Jaemin is here noticing he’s not. Donghyuck coughs, and he squeezes Jaemin’s waist lightly. “Yep.”

 

-

 

“We’re going to fucking fail this, Jaemin. What the fuck? What were you thinking asking me to be your boyfriend?” Donghyuck rants, then pauses. “Fake. Boyfriend.”

Jaemin looks absent minded, typing away on his phone, probably his parents asking Jaemin where they are now. He looks so calm and casual that Donghyuck literally feels like smacking him. Jaemin looks at Donghyuck, casually spinning his phone in his right hand because he’s  _rich,_ and can treat his phone however way he wants to. “Don’t worry, Hyuck.” Jaemin winks at him. “We’ll ace this. Just small talks here and there, you know?’

Donghyuck doesn’t  _know._

They’re in the subway, on the way to Jaemin’s parents’ house. Or, well, Jaemin’s house. Since Jaemin still technically lives there. Today will be the day they have the long awaited dinner with his parents, and the convincing of Jaemin’s gayness. It’s, well. A big day. Kind of. Donghyuck would need a lot of energy to lie to Jaemin’s parents, and it’s sucking his energy out even more because of the nervousness he feels. It bugs him even more that Jaemin seems so nonchalant about the whole thing. Just how casual it is to him to lie to his parents about having Donghyuck as a boyfriend, when this plan could go to fail and Jaemin would end up homeless on the street.

Okay, that’s kind of an exaggeration.

Jaemin wouldn’t end up on the streets probably. He’s still in the medical program, his parents wouldn’t even dare. Plus, Jaemin didn’t even get kicked out. Jaemin is staying with Donghyuck only because he’s had enough of his parents pestering him, which is well, classic Jaemin, if Donghyuck admits.

“Are you close to your parents?” Donghyuck asks, as they’re walking towards Jaemin’s house. Jaemin looks at Donghyuck in surprise. His eyebrows raising up in confusion, before registering the question.

“Oh,” Jaemin says, and he pauses for a second, thinking about the question. “Sometimes?” Jaemin shrugs. “I really can’t describe my family’s relationship. We’re shit sometimes. But we sometimes love each other. Sometimes they don’t care about me.” Jaemin shoots a grim smile at Donghyuck “I really don’t know.”

Donghyuck thinks that’s too much information. But that’s also more things he knows about Jaemin, so maybe it’s alright, and since Jaemin decided to share that information, it’s definitely more than alright. Jaemin is sort of silent the whole walk, and that’s kind of rare since he’s always running his mouth. Donghyuck studies his own shoes instead. It’s only sneakers, but his cleanest one, since Jaemin insisted that the dinner is very casual, and  _no, Donghyuck, you don’t have to wear a fucking suit._

So Donghyuck is only in his nicest sweater, jeans, and sneakers, which is just his usual attire, and Jaemin is basically his exact reflection, except with more expensive clothes, and his hair up. Donghyuck thinks Jaemin looks good. With his hair up, and not down for once, and when Donghyuck asked why Jaemin put his hair up, he just said he looked nicer, which Donghyuck has no comments on. Donghyuck doesn’t exactly disagree.

They arrive soon enough, and Donghyuck shouldn’t be surprised to see Jaemin’s house so big. It’s the modern kind, glass walls, and behind the gates, Donghyuck can hear some kind of pond, if the splash of water is anything to go by. Donghyuck knows Jaemin is rich, that statement is proven countless times by Jaemin’s immaculate way of dressing and his designer backpack he uses for school.  _School._

So maybe Donghyuck shouldn’t be surprised at something that is quite apparent, but Donghyuck is, because Jaemin’s house is quite literally one of the most beautiful houses Donghyuck has ever seen. Not close to The Sims houses videos Donghyuck watches people build on YouTube, but close. 

“You’re so fucking rich,” Donghyuck mutters under his breath, and Jaemin makes a noise of protest, and Donghyuck only takes Jaemin’s hand in his, sighing as he does. Jaemin pouts at him a little, and he opens up the gate, after punching in the code at the side. 

Donghyuck was right about the pond. There are little stairs that lead to the front door, and since the stairs are in the middle, the sides are filled with plants and ponds. It’s nice. It’s cool. It’s something only rich people are capable of doing. They climb up the stairs, and Jaemin rings the doorbell on the front door once they reach it, which is odd to Donghyuck, but Jaemin does the strangest things when he’s not in the right mind, and this might just be one of those times.

Jaemin’s mother opens the door, and Donghyuck notes immediately that she has Jaemin’s smile. Big and genuine, and beautiful. Donghyuck smiles at Jaemin’s mother demurely, and he lets go of the hold he has on Jaemin’s hand earlier to bow properly at her. “Hello, auntie.”

“Hello,” Jaemin’s mother says, and she’s still smiling at Donghyuck, so that must be a good sign. “You must be Donghyuck! We’ve been dying to meet you!” Jaemin’s mother turns, and hollers inside. “Aren’t we, honey?”

“Yep!” A voice says, and Donghyuck guesses that must be Jaemin’s father. Jaemin hugs his mother right after, and softly says his greeting. Donghyuck guesses that it’s probably been since Jaemin resided in Donghyuck’s apartment Jaemin had last seen his parents. Donghyuck does hear calls often, but this is probably the first time since the coming out Jaemin sees his parents. Donghyuck sort of wants to tell Jaemin it’s okay. 

“Come in, come in,” Jaemin’s mother says excitedly, and she takes Donghyuck’s hand in hers, dragging him to the dining room, and Donghyuck can only follow, shooting an alarmed look at Jaemin that Jaemin only snickers at. 

Jaemin looks at home in the house. The house is like the outside, and since the outside of the house had already blown Donghyuck’s expectations away, Donghyuck isn’t surprised to see how well decorated is the insides of the house. Jaemin jogs a little to catch up with Donghyuck, and he drapes his arm around Donghyuck, and Donghyuck kind of feels awkwardly pampered, but this must be what Jaemin meant by being affectionate, so Donghyuck lets Jaemin hang off of him. 

Donghyuck sits on the chair across Jaemin’s mother, and Jaemin sits next to him, which is across his father. Donghyuck feels awkward, but Jaemin’s parents had been nothing but welcoming, so Donghyuck just kind of have this kind of awkward smile plastered on his face. They start eating, and the questions start.

“So, Donghyuck,” Jaemin’s father begins, and he leans forward in interest, and Donghyuck looks at him earnestly, quickly chewing whatever he has in his mouth. “Mechanical engineering, huh? How’s that?” 

Donghyuck smiles at Jaemin’s father. “Good. I really like my major.”  _Not all the time,_ Donghyuck thinks, but Jaemin’s father doesn’t need to know that.

“How long have you two been--” Jaemin’s mother pauses, and waves her hands around awkwardly, and Donghyuck can feel Jaemin’s hand on his thigh, quietly reassuring him, and Donghyuck honestly thinks he needs that. Jaemin’s mother smiles politely. “Dating?”

Donghyuck knows that question is directed towards him, so Donghyuck replies breezily. “Two months, auntie. We met during orientation week, though.” Donghyuck turns to look at Jaemin to shoot him a soft smile, and Jaemin responds with a soft grin on his own. Donghyuck can see from the corners of his eyes that Jaemin’s parents exchange glances.

The dinner goes sort of smoothly after that to the point that Donghyuck feels a little comfortable, but Jaemin’s hand stays on Donghyuck’s thigh the whole dinner, so maybe that’s the reason why Donghyuck feels so comfortable. Because Jaemin’s presence is there, and that’s all Donghyuck needs to face this. Donghyuck doesn’t know if it’s the same case for Jaemin.

Questions about him were asked. Like where he is from, what does his parents work as, and what are his future plans after graduating. Which Donghyuck answers honestly.  _Jeju, his father works as a prosecutor and his mother is a teacher, getting internships and hopefully jobs._ They raised an eyebrow at the word teacher, but were discreet enough that Donghyuck acts like he doesn’t notice it. The word prosecutor must’ve been enough compensation since they didn’t say anything.

Donghyuck and Jaemin do the dishes after. Because Donghyuck offered, and when Jaemin’s mother vehemently refused, Jaemin insisted he’ll help, so they relent. They’re washing the dishes now, side by side, and Donghyuck is on the rinsing side, while Jaemin cleans.

“Thank you,” Jaemin says quietly into the silence. They were just accompanied by the sounds of the running water, and Donghyuck was quite okay with it, but if Jaemin wants to talk, they’ll talk. Jaemin knocks his hips against Donghyuck. “Really.”

Donghyuck laughs, and steals a glance at Jaemin, and Donghyuck is pleasantly surprised to see Jaemin sort of looking down, his lips bitten, looking so awkward and demure that it’s so not him. “Stop saying thank you. It’s so not like you.”

Jaemin frowns at Donghyuck, and Donghyuck snickers at that. “But I’m really thankful,” Jaemin confesses, and Donghyuck listens. Jaemin sighs a little, giving a plate to Donghyuck, and Donghyuck rinses it. “I was really nervous when I saw my mum again.”

Donghyuck noticed. The sudden change of energy around Jaemin when he saw his mother again when he was all bouncy and excited while they were in the subway and walking towards Jaemin’s house. Donghyuck noticed, which was why he held Jaemin’s hands. To help ease the nervousness. “I know,” Donghyuck croaks out.

Jaemin looks at Donghyuck, and Donghyuck ignores him to rinse off the bowls. “But since you were there, it was alright.” Donghyuck doesn’t know what to say to that revelation. The first thing his mind conjures is  _same._ Because Donghyuck was a nervous wreck too, but since Jaemin was there, it was alright. Since Jaemin  _is_ here, it’s alright.

“Me too,” Donghyuck utters, and Jaemin shoots him one last smile before slathering more plates in dish soap.

 

-

Jaemin moves away. 

That’s bound to happen. 

No, that  _should_  happen.

Donghyuck doesn’t know why he’s so sad, though.

Donghyuck wakes up the morning after both of them had dinner at Jaemin’s parents’ place to an empty bed and zero sight of Jaemin’s luggage anywhere. Ever since Donghyuck’s mother visited, Jaemin doesn’t bother going back to the guest bedroom, and Donghyuck is not complaining, so Jaemin stays there. Along with his luggage containing his clothes and some notebooks and textbooks, and his designer backpack he puts next to his wide opened (for his own sake, Jaemin said) luggage. The emptiness is enough  for Donghyuck’s chest to start hurting, and for him to slam his head back on his pillow in hurt.

Donghyuck checks his phone. It’s nine in the morning, and there are no texts from Jaemin explaining. Just chats from his group chats, one of his classmates asking him for his notes, and Mark asking him how to solve a simple equation because his law brain is too fried to be thinking of answers to a Maths question.

Donghyuck stays in bed for two hours. Even when he has a calculus test the next day, and more studying to catch up with, but he stays there. Because the burn in his chest isn’t from the thought of having to study, but from Jaemin leaving without even informing Donghyuck. The burn is from the thought of Donghyuck already forgiving Jaemin for leaving even without an explanation.

 

-

 

Life without Jaemin is something Donghyuck has to get used to again, and Donghyuck sort of hates how he has to even do that because he has been living alone ever since he entered college, so Donghyuck doesn’t get how Jaemin staying with him for a month can even affect him this much. It’s absurd, and absolutely idiotic, and maybe it’s all Donghyuck’s fault for caving in every time Jaemin asks him for something. 

Donghyuck wakes up the next day for school, and tries to ignore how the bed is empty again, and how there are no text messages from Jaemin. Donghyuck tries to ignore how he doesn’t have to shut all of Jaemin’s alarms off because Jaemin has fucktons of alarms because he never wakes up. Donghyuck tries to ignore how the apartment seems so much emptier than it should be.

Donghyuck goes to classes, take his tests, and by lunch time, he’s with his friends, and they immediately sense how down he is because Donghyuck fortunately has the most caring friends, and they notice when Donghyuck is down. Donghyuck is sort of playing with his rice, silently eating it and chewing on silently, and Donghyuck can literally hear the silence between his friends, obviously feeling awkward when Donghyuck is brooding like this. Mark asks first.

“Uh, you okay, Hyuck?” Mark is sitting across him this time. Jeno next to him, and Renjun across Jeno. Donghyuck looks up in surprise, and smiles a little.

“Yeah, yeah,” Donghyuck replies absentmindedly, and his friends exchange looks, before switching the topic, knowing that Donghyuck doesn’t want to talk about it yet, and they know better than to push Donghyuck to talk. The conversation halts, when Donghyuck interjects. “Can I ask you guys for an opinion?”

Jeno answers. “Uh, yeah.”

Renjun echoes softly. “Of course, Hyuck.”

Mark hums.

“How do you know when you like someone?” Donghyuck queries. There’s a slight pause, and Donghyuck can hear their gears thinking.

Mark leans forward in alarm, eyes wide and worried. “Do you like someone other than Jaemin?”

_I wish,_ Donghyuck thought, and Donghyuck sighs. Mark must’ve taken that as a sign of confirmation, because he gasps in surprise, and that makes Donghyuck defends himself hurriedly. “No! It’s not about Jaemin.” Donghyuck doesn’t know why he’s getting so good at white lies. “I just need an opinion about this. It’s about my friend.”

“You have other friends?” Renjun asks incredulously, and Donghyuck scowls at him while Jeno next to him fails to even hide his snickers. Renjun grimaces. “Sorry, sorry.”

“Nevermind,” Donghyuck huffs out. “You’re all so mean. Whatever. Don’t answer that.”

“I didn’t say anything!” Jeno says defensively, and Donghyuck gives him a pointed look that has him cowering. Jeno smiles sheepishly at Donghyuck. “Sorry. But to answer your question, for me, it’s when I can’t stop thinking about the other person.”

Donghyuck blinks at Jeno, and Jeno shrugs. Mark then speaks up. “Yeah. And I guess for me dressing better?” Mark’s eyebrows furrow in concentration. “Yeah. Kind of.”

Renjun sighs when Donghyuck looks at him next. Renjun shrugs. “I don’t know, really. Like Jeno said, really. Can’t stop thinking about them and all that. And I would stare at them more than I would at other people? That’s usually when I realise I have a crush.”

Donghyuck only nods.

 

-

 

Of course Donghyuck knows he likes Jaemin.

Donghyuck doesn’t quite know when he just realises he likes Jaemin because realisation about crush doesn’t really come like an epiphany. It comes gradually. It’s more of a long process for Donghyuck when he has a crush. Donghyuck really can’t pinpoint when his crush grew so big to the point he would agree to every favour Jaemin asks for, though.

Perhaps it was when Donghyuck first met Jaemin during orientation, seeing Jaemin so confident and tall, the attraction was there, of course. It was there, it has always been there. Jaemin had been beautiful. That was the first adjective Donghyuck’s mind decided to conjure when he saw Jaemin for the very first time, and if Donghyuck is to look now, his mind would conjure up the same word. Jaemin was beautiful. Handsome, the second word. Stance confident, and strides purposeful.

At first Donghyuck thought it was the richness exuded. But then, Jaemin in a sweatpants a few days after they first met, and hair messy, his mind still thought that Jaemin was beautiful, so it was definitely not the things Jaemin wear. Because whatever Jaemin wears, he rocks because he’s beautiful.

Donghyuck then thinks it’s just mere infatuation and attraction. But then Donghyuck starts spending more and more time together with Jaemin to the point that they would hang out in a restaurant together, and just hang out that Donghyuck thinks it’s definitely not just the looks. It’s the way Jaemin runs his mouth like a fucking engine when he’s with Donghyuck because he trusts Donghyuck that much, but then becomes quiet when he’s with the people he’s not familiar with. It’s Jaemin’s stupid jokes that Donghyuck tries hard to not laugh at, but fails.

Maybe that’s why Jaemin chose Donghyuck as the person to fake date. Because they’re so close.

Donghyuck can’t pinpoint exactly what he likes about Jaemin, but maybe it’s because Donghyuck likes everything there is to Jaemin. Maybe it’s because Donghyuck is so far in that he even treats flaws as one of Jaemin’s charms.

Maybe Donghyuck should stop thinking.

(So loudly).

 

-

 

Donghyuck’s plans for Friday night is to rewatch all eight Harry Potter movies alone while eating six cups of ramen (all six already cooked because he will  _not_ back away) because he has no self control and he thinks he deserves it after getting his heart stomped on.

Donghyuck is forty five minutes into the second movie, and already done with his first cup when the doorbell rings, which should be the time for Donghyuck to start running to his bedroom because who the fuck rings the doorbell at ten at night. Twice. Donghyuck is scared, but he musters up enough courage to walks to the door, and looks through the screen to see who’s there. 

It’s Jaemin.

Donghyuck doesn’t really know what to do. Donghyuck sort of hates Jaemin for making him miss the continued part of the movie, and making him get up when Jaemin himself knows the passcode to Donghyuck’s apartment. But then Donghyuck would get angry at Jaemin if he bursts in after almost a week with no contact, so yeah, Donghyuck gets him. Donghyuck opens the door, sighing as he does, and he blocks the entry by leaning his body on the door. 

“What is it, Jaemin?” Donghyuck says as a greeting, sighing, and Jaemin looks so embarrassed and apologetic that Donghyuck can feel the resolves he built earlier crumbling little by little the more Jaemin looks at him. 

Jaemin looks nice. In his jeans, plain shirt, and his plaids, and a chicken and beer takeaway in his hand. He looks boyish, and even in this state of their relationship--friendship, Donghyuck still thinks Jaemin looks Donghyuck could guess that he just came back from uni, but Donghyuck can’t know for sure because he hasn’t seen Jaemin ever since he left him that day. 

Jaemin blinks at Donghyuck, his eyelashes fanning his cheeks as he does. He raises the takeaway bag, and Donghyuck’s eyes follow it. “I bought chicken?” When Donghyuck still looks unimpressed, Jaemin continues. “And beer?” 

Donghyuck lets him in. 

Because Jaemin has beer, and that’s all there is to it. 

“Six ramen, Hyuck?” Jaemin asks incredulously, and Donghyuck heats up a little, because the object of his sorrows is here, and he’s disapproving Donghyuck’s choices. Donghyuck feels like kicking Jaemin’s ass. 

Donghyuck plops down on the sofa, and takes another ramen, rolling his eyes at Jaemin when Jaemin looks like he wants it, too. “Just take it. Damn it,” Donghyuck huffs. 

Jaemin takes it, after setting the chicken down on the coffee table, and he goes to the kitchen quickly to take chopsticks, and he sits down next to Donghyuck right after. They both eat in silence, only the sounds of them slurping the noodles heard in the dimness of the living room. Jaemin breaks the silence. “I’m sorry.”

Donghyuck blinks quickly, and chooses to keep his eyes on the TV instead of looking over at Jaemin. He might give in even faster if he looks. “For what?”

Jaemin is silent for a few second, not knowing how to reply.  _For what? Roping Donghyuck into this? Making Donghyuck fall for him? Leaving Donghyuck?_ “For leaving you.” Donghyuck can hear Jaemin swallowing a little. “I’m sorry. I was a coward.”

Donghyuck still doesn’t look. Donghyuck looks at the TV, barely registering the scenes, but instead Jaemin’s words. He makes it sound so easy. “I was really hurt.” Donghyuck lets out a pained laugh. “You didn’t even call me.” Donghyuck pauses. “Or text, Jaemin. God.”

“I’m sorry,” Jaemin says hurriedly, and Donghyuck can feel him looking at Donghyuck. His eyes are probably wide, showing all of the regrets he felt about leaving, but Donghyuck still can’t find it in him to look. “I was scared.”  _Why?_ Donghyuck wants to ask. Jaemin seems to understand, though, because he continues. “Because I really fucking like you a lot, and I can’t say for sure if you like me too. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Spilling your feelings out kind of feels weird and movie-like. 

Donghyuck finally looks at Jaemin, and Donghyuck was right. Jaemin looks like a kicked puppy, eyes wide, and bottom lips slightly jutted out, and his eyes show all the emotions he’s currently feeling. Donghyuck can see desperation and regrets. Donghyuck can see apologies in his eyes. 

“I literally fake dated you, Jaemin,” Donghyuck chooses to say, and Jaemin understands, his eyes show the weight behind that sentence. “Is that not enough?”

“I don’t know,” Jaemin says, shrugging sheepishly, and he’s now grinning at Donghyuck, wide and pretty. “Maybe you were a really friend. I don’t know, Donghyuck.”

“Ask, Jaemin,” Donghyuck laughs, and Jaemin laughs along. “I like you too, you dimwit. Of course I do.”

Jaemin is silent for a moment, and he sighs. Donghyuck can practically feel the tension dissipating. Just from admitting that they like each other, and the possibility that something that is fake can turn into real. Jaemin looks at Donghyuck, and deadpans. “Can I kiss you?”

_Yes, yes, yes,_ Donghyuck thinks. Donghyuck says: “You have ramen breath.”

Jaemin looks offended, which is hilarious. “You do too,” Jaemin says heatedly, and Donghyuck barks out a laugh, and Jaemin ignores him, continuing. “And we’ll have chicken breath after we eat that chicken. You’ll still have to kiss me, anyways.”

Donghyuck thinks Jaemin is right. Jaemin thinks so too, and he leans forward, hovering over Donghyuck, and then kissing him. 

They stay like that for a while. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> ahhhhh it's done
> 
> comments and kudos are appreciated! :)
> 
> i'm on [twitter](https://twitter.com/nctkkum) if you wanna follow me! 
> 
> and i opened up a [curiouscat!!](https://curiouscat.me/adequater) if you wanna ask me questions hehe
> 
> thank you for reading!!


End file.
